Page Six

posted 14th Apr 2016, 4:26 PM

Page Six
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view swamantha's profile

14th Apr 2016, 4:26 PM

swamantha

So many Trade owners, so little time.

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view Matt Knab's profile

14th Apr 2016, 5:01 PM

Matt Knab

Hrm, she's...brusque.

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view R. Burnett's profile

15th Apr 2016, 7:44 AM

R. Burnett

lol yep. Places to be people to see. She ain't got time for this crap!

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view crowbar's profile

16th Apr 2016, 7:34 PM

crowbar

Jaz is a cutie! And she has such a dramatic ponytail. She seems to have made up her mind about Natalia somehow...I wonder what's really going on here.

Regarding pacing: I am a little disoriented by all of the new (and old, from the previous version) named characters getting introduced and then leaving in a very short span of pages (what's the character-equivalent of an infodump? A character-dump? Haha). IMO its better for the story to develop/flesh-out any newly-added characters and relationships, instead of introducing them briefly and having them show up again later on. Give the readers a chance to get to know the characters for a while, before they exit the scene.

And I know you have at least one more major character to introduce soon. It's a bit too much all at once. Just a little constructive criticism, hope you don't mind.

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view swamantha's profile

17th Apr 2016, 8:45 PM

swamantha

Crezure is sort of an enormous project/world with a lot of different characters. Almost every single character you see has a story all their own, even if they are not featured in the main comic.

We're trying to focus our attentions on Natalia, Ember (who is introduced in the next chapter), Inessa and their relationships. So in retrospect we could have easily taken this part of the scene out. It would not have made a huge difference in the chapter as a whole. I included it because the Trademen are important to the structure of the city, and I thought people might have wanted to see them.

I'll admit that comic writing is a completely new thing for me. I'm a novelist, and I'm adapting chapters into comic format, which does not always go smoothly. As a writer and a reader I've never had a problem with briefly introducing background characters and having them turn up again later. But then again, books are a different format. This is still a learning experience for me, so I appreciate your opinions and constructive criticism!

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